Props to the two dudes who took a 33-year-old Subaru and completely Jurassic Park’d the shit outta it. Anybody can go out and have their flashy sports car detailed, but where’s the fun in that? There’s no character. The car has no personality! We’ve all seen it before, and we’re not impressed. With a tricked out Jurassic Park Subaru, you’ve got yourself a legitimate pussy wagon. Now, you can pull up to any independent coffee shop and you are guaranteed to take home a cute bespectacled FANGIRL. The two of you will hop into your Jurassic Park ride, you’ll look at each other and smile, then you’ll say to her “Hold on to your butts!” as you race off to a pop-up Magic: The Gathering session. And after, that Subaru will be rocking harder than Dennis Nedry being mauled by a Dilophosaurus.
As Drake once said, you only live once, so you might as well just take his advice. That’s why I’m draining my entire savings account tomorrow and getting my 2007 Ford Focus hatchback detailed to look like the DeLorean from Back To The Future.
Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need any motherfucking roads!